


Knife in the Back

by oneawkwardcookie



Series: Past and Present [4]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Ficlet, One Shot, but very vaguely, more about the aftermath, references to past abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:28:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26822158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oneawkwardcookie/pseuds/oneawkwardcookie
Summary: Sometimes it's love, sometimes it's an apology, sometimes it's neither...
Relationships: Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han, Maddie Buckley/Howie “Chimney” Han
Series: Past and Present [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1883812
Comments: 12
Kudos: 9





	Knife in the Back

**Author's Note:**

> Another angsty piece because Maddie has been through a lot and it doesn't just go away. I'm seeing this as relatively early on for them as well.

Whenever she's over, he's always first to get into bed, settling back with his arms behind his head as he watches her flit in and out of the bathroom, rubbing creams and lotions into her arms, her neck, sweeping upwards over her face. When she's finally done, she lifts up the duvet and he brings one arm down, for her to settle against his side.

He's not sure what happened that morning, except she'd somehow ended up curled up on the other side of the bed, sweeping neckline at the back of her nightgown revealing tensed muscles. He still doesn't think much of it, but he misses her, even though they're finger-lengths apart. So he rolls over, one arm coming round her as he presses his nose against the back of her neck.

She gets up fast enough to make him shiver, a cold draught sucked into the vacuum next to him.

“Bathroom,” she blurts out, leaving without facing him.

He waits, for the sound of running water, for her return, even for the sound of her breath catching and bouncing off the tiles.

The silence is deafening, stretching the seconds into minutes.

“Maddie?” It's a soft whisper into the door, just loud enough to carry through.

“Just a minute!” Her voice is too high pitched, the sentence too fast to be casual, her voice carrying a hint of a wobble.

“I'll be in the kitchen.” He stays for another moment, fingertips gently drumming on the doorframe. He knows there's nothing more he can do from this side of the door, and lying in wait will do more harm than good. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he shuffles over to the kitchen, busying himself with the coffee machine, and closing his eyes at the familar sounds and the smell of coffee that wafts towards him. He sets about making her a plain bagel and a cup of peppermint tea, the smell soothing his own nerves as he hovers over the counter, dunking the teabag a few more times before setting it to the side.

“I'm sorry.” He hadn't noticed her enter the room, footsteps silent even without her socks, and he hates the way she stands - tense and curled in on herself, face neutral as she stares into the middle distance.

“No need to apologise. I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable.” He continues to busy himself with spreading butter over the bagel, letting her take her time.

“It was _his_ way of apologising.” Her voice gets nearer, still a little flat and cold, and then she's by his side, a hand placed gently over his to stop his movements. “He'd storm out in a rage after... and I'd wait, for ages, but then I'd fall asleep and wake up to him... getting back into bed and he'd hold me, like nothing had happened, except it was too close, too...” She tails off, thumb rubbing absently over his.

“You don't need to tell me anything else if you don't want, you know that, but I won't do that, any of it.”

She presses back against his side, resting her head on his shoulder, watching him finish up. He turns slowly, bringing his arms round her, hands clasping his own forearms as he draws her close, pressing his lips to her forehead.

“I know you won't,” she whispers into his neck.

“You know what else?” He reaches down and offers her up one half of the bagel.

“What else?” She says around a mouthful.

“I kinda like being the little spoon!”

Her snort of laughter is enough to make him smile too.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are always welcomed and appreciated. Otherwise, hit me up on [Tumblr](oneawkwardcookie.tumblr.com/).


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